My husband was a cool dude. He just was. He emanated cool. He wasn't flashy, he wasn't trying too hard, he was just cool. I learned a lot from him. I learned that you didn't have to shout your greatness, your genius, your wealth, your cool, you just had to be. Those people that tell you 'I'm really tough, I can kick your ass. Or I'm so smart my IQ is 160, or I make X dollars so I'm better than you.' Those people are posers. Their self esteem is dictated by their 'that'.
How you are, how you carry yourself, that's the cool.
And as my big bad cool dude used to say 'if you don't start any shit there won't be any shit'!